Style

Even if you have the most original, interesting ideas in the world, readers won’t care about them if you don’t present them clearly. Style and content go hand in hand. Knowing how to present your ideas in a fresh, clear, interesting way is crucial to your success as a writer.

 

Vary Sentence Beginnings

• Vary the way you begin your sentences in order to make the flow of your writing more interesting and to avoid monotony.

• Avoid beginning sentences with There is or There are—in nearly all instances, these words are unnecessary.

• Don’t begin a sentence with a pronoun like this, that, or it unless you clarify what the pronoun refers to. For example, This argument is valid because . . . is clearer than This is valid because . . .

• While using I is often desirable and effective, beginning sentences with I believe, I think, or I feel creates a wordy effect and often undermines the conviction of your argument. You usually can eliminate these words without sacrificing clarity or meaning.

 

Vary Sentence Structure

• Reading repetitive, uninteresting sentences is just as boring as listening to a speaker with a monotone voice. For example:

  • Rose of Sharon dreams of a car and a house. She is happy when she tells Ma about her plans. Ma listens skeptically. Ma doesn’t tell her that dreams like those are futile. Rose of Sharon holds fast to them. They are the life within her.

• An overabundance of short sentences with the same or similar structure—subject + verb, subject + verb—produces a choppy, repetitive effect that won’t do your ideas justice.

• You can create more sophisticated writing by combining your sentences in logical ways.

 

Coordination

• If two sentences are related and their ideas equally important, you can join them by using a conjunction. This process is called coordinating your sentences.

• Coordination can be accomplished by using:

  • A comma and a coordinating conjunction (e.g., and, but, for, nor, or, yet)

  • A semicolon and a transitional phrase (e.g., also, for example, nevertheless, however, otherwise, therefore)

• Examples:

  • She is happy when she tells Ma about her plans; however, Ma listens skeptically.

  • Ma doesn’t tell her that dreams like those are futile, and Rose of Sharon holds fast to them.

 

Subordination

• If two sentences are related, but one contains an idea that is of lesser importance, you can join them by turning the less important sentence into a subordinate clause. This process is called subordinating your sentences.

• Subordination can be accomplished by using words like although, because, if, when, who, or unless to introduce the subordinate clause.

• Examples:

  • Dreaming of a car and a house, Rose of Sharon is happy when she tells Ma about her plans.

  • Rose of Sharon holds fast to her dreams because they are the life within her.

 

Avoid Overcoordination and Oversubordination

In trying to vary sentence structure, be careful not to create long, unwieldy sentences whose parts either don’t fit together logically or don’t work together smoothly.

Overcoordination

• The following sentence suffers from overcoordination:

  Rose of Sharon doesn’t understand the extent of her family’s troubles, and she is excited about her pregnancy.

• The and suggests that these two ideas are equal. However, the second idea, though certainly closely related to the first, isn’t as primary a point. A more effective way of linking these two ideas is to subordinate the less important one:

  Rose of Sharon, excited about her pregnancy, doesn’t understand the extent of her family’s troubles.

Oversubordination

• The following sentence suffers from over subordination:

  California, which seemed a million miles away, was where the Joads, despite the warning that there actually was no work, were going.

• If you read this sentence out loud, you see that it’s choppy and difficult to follow; you have to pause too many times.

• When you oversubordinate, chances are you’re trying to get too much information into the sentence. There are two ways to fix this: Split the sentence or arrange the information differently. Here’s that sentence again, revised both ways

  • Split: The Joads were going to California, despite the warning that there actually was no work. California seemed a million miles away.

  • Arranged differently: California seemed a million miles away; however, that’s where the Joads were going, despite the warning that there actually was no work.

 

Use the Active Voice

• Compare the sentence Rose of Sharon saved the starving man. to The starving man was saved.

  • The verb in both sentences is the same—to save. However, the way the verb is used in each sentence is different:

    • In the first sentence, the actor—the person doing the action—is clear; Rose of Sharon saved the man. When we know exactly who does the action, the verb is in the active voice.

    • In the second sentence, we know that the man is the one who was saved—but we don’t know who saved him. When we know whom the action is done to, but not who does the action, the verb is in the passive voice.

• Verbs in the passive voice have two parts: a form of the verb to be plus the past participle form of a verb—was killed, is written, were given, is loved.

• In nearly every case, use verbs in the active voice to create stronger, clearer prose.

  • In leaving the actor behind a verb unclear, the passive voice almost always begs the question, “. . . by whom?”, which can create unnecessary confusion.

  • In addition, the passive voice is wordy. Eliminating it results in tighter sentences.

• However, the passive voice can be effective in certain instances.

  • Use passive voice if you want to conceal the actor, e.g., The money was lost instead of I lost the money. Astute readers will see right through this technique, however, so it can undermine your credibility as a writer. Use it sparingly.

  • Use passive voice if you want to emphasize whom or what was acted upon rather than who performed the action, e.g., My hometown was mentioned on MTV.

 

Use Strong, Vivid Verbs

In its various forms, the verb to be is the most commonly used verb—is, were, was, has been, and so on—and it’s usually the easiest one to come up with when you’re banging out an essay under pressure. However, the verb to be is weak if overused. Practice using more vivid verbs that create a clearer picture of your topic.

• Weak verb: Ma is skeptical of Rose of Sharon’s plans.

• Stronger verb: Ma doubts Rose of Sharon’s plans.

• To be is also a component of the present progressive tense, which combines to be with the present participle form of a verb (which always ends in -ing), e.g., is loving, is writing, was sitting.

  • Wherever possible, eliminate the present progressive from your writing.

  • Strong verbs in the present tense make your sentences clearer, stronger, and less wordy.

  • Examples:

    Connie is trying his best. » Connie tries his best.

    No one is expecting Connie to change. » No one expects Connie to change.

 

Avoid Padding and Wordiness

Every sentence in your essay should “do work”—that is, no sentence should be there just to fill the space. If a sentence is weak on its own, consider eliminating it or joining it with a sentence that comes before or after it.

Remember that every sentence in a paragraph must build in some way on the sentence that came before it.

• Weak: The Joads have nothing. They don’t have enough food and they have no hope for work.

• Better: The Joads have nothing—neither enough food nor enough work.

Wordiness weighs down your sentences with unnecessary language. Many writers are wordy because they think it makes them seem smarter—but for astute readers, wordiness has the opposite effect.

• Wordy sentences can seem inflated and arrogant and suggest that the writer is trying to hide a lack of knowledge under a lot of words.

• Wordy sentences can also be confusing. Strive for a clear, direct writing style.

• Verbs in the passive voice and the present progressive often are red flags for wordiness.

• Wordy:Rose of Sharon’s elliptical and mysterious smile and her private self-containment are emphasized throughout the entire novel and are given focused attention with long descriptive passages.

  This sentence is a long way of saying something pretty simple. Notice the two instances of passive voice—are emphasized and are given. We never learn who or what emphasizes or gives. Notice also the redundant piling up of adjectives: elliptical and mysterious mean nearly the same thing, and self-containment itself suggests privacy. Finally, the phrase throughout the entire novel is redundant.

• Better: Steinbeck frequently describes Rose of Sharon’s mysterious smile and self-containment.

  Here, clearly and simply, we have an actor—Steinbeck—frequently describing the smile and self-containment.

 

Use Specific Language

Pack your sentences with strong ideas and vivid words and phrases.

• General: Steinbeck uses symbols to show things about the characters. What kinds of symbols? What things do the symbols show?

• Specific: Steinbeck uses symbols such as Rose of Sharon’s pregnancy to show the contrast between character’s most vulnerable, innermost feelings and the harsh outside world. This sentence clarifies both of the questions that the previous sentence leaves unanswered.

Vague language can cast suspicion on your credibility as a writer. Whenever necessary, define your words clearly.

• Vague: The government should regulate the sexual content of prime-time television to preserve family values. Chances are that no two readers have the same definition of family values in mind.

• Clear: The government should regulate the sexual content of prime-time television to increase the effectiveness of school and parent-based sex education. This sentence defines these terms and values clearly.

Be careful using words like appropriate and acceptable in your writing. Be sure to define what you mean by acceptable and answer the question, Appropriate to/for whom?

Avoid clichés (see Figurative Language, above) to keep your writing pointed and specific.

 

Use Specific Details

Generalities weaken your argument. Always include specific details from your research, the text provided, personal experience, or your own observations to liven up your writing and support any claims you make.

• General: Many migrant laborers move to Florida every year.

• Specific: According to the Florida Department of Health, 150,000 to 200,000 migrant laborers travel to Florida every year.